To Hurt, to love, to cherish
by thebitchisback
Summary: Pretty simple chad/sonny arrangement


AN: Not something I usually do, in fact it's more like I had a creative agenda and really needed to express it. So this is probably my only story. You don't need to review and I am sorry about the grammar... I did write this at 1am my time. But thanks for reading

It was a kiss. A passionate, sensual kiss, that sent chills down her spine. A kiss that made her heart pound and her head ache. She wanted so much to pull him forward, crush their bodies together so that no air could pass between them, their tongues fighting for power and lips struggling for control. But much to the chagrin of her heart, she pushed him away, forcing distance between them as she forced silent her pounding heart and haggard breath. He took a step toward her, his hand reaching for face. She caught his hand before his long fingers could curl around her cheek, her bruised, cherry lips forming the words that couldn't escape her throat. It didn't matter though, he knew what she was trying to say, and his heart broke because of it. Still holding her hand, he took a hesitant step forward, raising it to his chest, the other to her face, forcing her chin up. "Why are you doing this Sonny? Please don't do this." Tears started to form in Sonny's eyes, the pain in his voice tugging painfully at her heart. "I have to Chad. I can't do this anymore. It hurts too much. We hurt each other too much. I... I just can't." Sonny tried her hardest to keep her voice as calm and as strong as possible but the emotion in Chad's eyes made her voice crack.

"No, no I won't let you let you." Chad's voice was resolute, his stature stubborn. Sonny just shook her head, ripping Chad's hands from her body, she turned, and taking a few steps toward the fence that was behind her.

"You won't let me? You won't let me what? Move on? Actually be happy for once in my life without it being ripped from under my feet." Sonny's voice was barely above a whisper, but Chad had no issue hearing her.

"You know what I mean. I love you Sonny. That means something to me,"

"Oh and you don't think it means anything to me?" Sonny interjected, turning to face the boy- man- in front of her.

"I didn't say that Sonny. You know how hard it is for me to love!" Chad took a deep breath to calm his voice and continued, "You knew that when you signed up for this thing between us…"

"This thing is called a relationship, Chad."

"Fuck Sonny! I know what it's called. I was there remember? I was apart of it. Unless you forgot while you were attempting to push me away."

"Me push you away? God Chad, you treated me like shit. You forgot my birthday, you always turned up late for dates and I remember quite clearly the drunken meeting with my mother."

"Oh yes, you just had to bring that up didn't you. That was two years ago Sonny. Why do you insist of remembering the worst of me." Chad' voice softened slightly, stepping forward as to corner Sonny, wanting an answer instead of a misdirection. Sonny's eyes were panicked slightly, and Chad saw the flight impulse in the strain of her muscles. He took another step closer, his hand grabbing her wrist. "Don't think you will get out of this Sonny. We need to have this conversation, because if we don't we will end up miserable and alone. You are happy with me Sonny, I know you are. I also know you love me. But you just keep pushing me away and I am starting to lose it. I just want to be with you, I have for years. Is that so hard to understand?" Sonny's eyes remained downcast throughout Chad's mini monologue as she attempted to hold back the tears. A deep breath, a pinch of her eyes, Sonny looked up to brave looking into the eyes of her boyfriend. "I don't know." Her voice soft as she answered him, body flinching when she watched his eyes grow dark in anger and his jaw tightened in frustration. "You don't know!" Dropping her wrist, he stormed toward the patio door, slamming his hand against the glass. "You don't know. That's great Sonny, really. It's fantastic. You are breaking my heart, and yours too, for no reason. Why Sonny? That's all I want to know. I know I'm not perfect, we have established that. I know I've screwed up but I changed Sonny. Because of you, I changed."

"I know. I know you have. In my heart I know you have. But my head, it's so logical, the reasoning flawless."

"God Sonny, when are you going to stop listening to your mind and start listening to your heart? I want to marry you. I love you and I want to marry you. It's that simple."

"No it's not Chad!"

"Yes. Yes it is. Look, I'm not going to pressure you, it's not right. I just can't keep arguing about it. It's hurting too much." Chad signed as he rubbed his hands though his hair. He turned toward the door, sliding it open, he whispered an "I love you" and left.

******************

Sonny barely registered his disappearance, her mind still reeling from their fight. She loved him, she knew that. But was she really ready to marry a man that had broken her heart so many times? Was she ready to spend her life with a man she had hurt again and again? Sonny closed her eyes, sighing she lent against the patio guard. How did things get so messed up? Listen to your heart he said. But was it really that simple. There were so many cons but there were also so many pros. Her mind a jumble, she screamed. She sobbed, she cried, she cursed. She started beating the plants, breaking the plates, chucking the cups. Then she calmed, and looked around. Something was missing. Chad. Her heart quenched. He left. No. _I love him._ "Chad!" She screamed into the apartment. "Chad? Where are you? Chad!" But there was no reply. "Chad?" He wasn't there. He was always there. Where was he? She collapsed to the floor, sobs wracking her body. "Chad." Her voice weakened by her constant sobbing. She stayed there for hours, on the floor of the living room, the patio door open letting in a chilling breeze. She was cold but too spent to move. Her sobs settled as she drifted into a fitful sleep.

A soft hand woke her from wonderful sleep. A loving "Sonny" penetrated her thoughts. Her eyes flittered open, trying to decipher who it was in her groggy state. "Sonny?" She knew that voice, and it warmed her cold heart.

"Chad? You came back?"

"You know I'll always come back for you Sonshine." Chad smiled briefly, his eyes clouded with emotion. "So, wanna tell me why you are freezing on the living room floor?"

"I thought you had left for good before I could tell you something. Something super important."

"And that super important thing is?"

"Well, I did something thinking…"

"I can tell but the state of the patio."

"Shush you. Anyway, what I wanted to say is that when I thought you had gone for good I realised something."

"That is?"

" I love you."

"God Sonny I know that already." Chad lent back slightly, as if creating some sort of distance between them in the expectation of bad news.

"No Chad, you don't. I love you with every fibre of my being and that is why I want to marry you. If that is okay with you of course." Chad's eyes filled with happiness, the smile on his face so bright, Sonny couldn't help but laugh.

"Yes?"

"Yes." Sonny lent in to kiss her future husband but was met by air. Opening her eyes, she looked to see what Chad was doing. "Um Chad, trying to kiss you down here." But her words didn't penetrate. "Chad?" His hands were patting done his body, as if trying to find something. Then he hit gold, his head snapping towards here with a dazzling smile.

"Found it."

"Found what?"

"The ring!"


End file.
